SkyGem*

My weirdness in writing...

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sad Sad...
I really cant help but get into arguments with my Dad about God. I try to make him think about what he says... cuz I think that its better to challenge him, then to let him just think of his own misguided beliefs... I kinda knew this was coming, but I kinda wish it didnt. So he said it... he said he did not beleive, he said he thought everything was relative and nothing really matters... that he may feel just as happy in hell...

I tried to make him think about, why humans are different... and why we love... why we have a conscience...I guess all i wanted to get at was for him to admit he was not a christian... which would be better than being misguided to think that he was... but really was not... (or to give me, his daughter, false hope that he was changing whne he was just acting out of respect) so I got the sad sad reply from him, during the arguement... i cried... it made me really sad... but on the other hand... its good... because now he truly knows where he stands... but its sad sad... cuz.... I think God has been telling me that people do actually choose to deny him, even if they see he is God... to that moment when God is infront of you... people can still deny him... When I was young... I was very idealistic and just wanted God to save everyone, then everyone would be happy together.. that God should somehow force everyone to believe him... cuz it is for their own good... but today I realized... what is real love?... maybe it is to let go... when you have tried your best to spread the gospel to a specific person... and the person has adequate understanding of it... but chooses not to believe... then that is their choice... maybe God's love is greater than I had ever expected... that he would really let us choose... not just say you can choose... but then switch it up later... even if it hurts him like mad...

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