Just came home from lotsa family time, with relatives and eating out. But now, I feel so lonely. Maybe it is because this week, I called back home a lot. I chatted with people that I havent chatted with for a long time. I really miss them. I think it made me realize that here in Taiwan, as much as it is fun, I lack the true friendships that I could depend on in Canada. Here, I meet new people all the time, but it is like they are just entertaining me for a while, or vice versa. There is little true connection. And because I have met many people, I dont always chill with just a few closely. I lack the community that I had in Toronto. I guess this is part of the culture shock I am supposed to be feeling. The ups and downs of the emotional rollercoaster. A few days ago, I had this sudden panic attack because I suddenly felt very scared. I was scared that my parents may be unsafe in Canada, I was afraid that I might be unsafe in Taiwan. That there were so many uncertainties in this world. That maybe I wont make it back to Canada alive, just so scared of all the uncertainty. I prayed at that time, because there were so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind. I suddenly felt so out of control. But in my prayer, I was reminded that things are not in my control, it is in God's control. He is watching over me, and I dont need to get all freaked out and worry about the little things. That really comforted me, and then I felt better. Right now, I just feel kinda lonely. I think I really need to meditate on God's word more, because here I have been so busy with random things, that I havent taken time out for God. And to think, I had thought that I could be such a good witness here, so strong for God. But now, I can see I am so weak. But an encouraging point is that after my fellowship on Saturday, I was encouraged about how they were so joyous in the Lord. That I really need to live out my Christian walk visibly. on Saturday night, I actually had a conversatio with Uncle Victor and Uncle Adolf and Auntie Paula about religion. Prior to that, I had thought about how will I bring up religion to chat about what they think. But strangely, my Uncle Victor brought up the topic. Although after the conversation, they just got a better understanding of why I believe in God, I think it is like they are interested in spiritual matters. I can only pray and let God have his work continue, whether it be through me or others.